Boys to Avoid, or Stop Shitting on Teenage Feminism

So, I came across this picture on Tumblr.

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And beneath it was a whole boat-ton of really shitty comments bashing on the chick who made this for, well, pretty much making it. Except for #2 and #4, obviously. She’s smart on those two. I’m rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.

It was a lot of bashing the gender studies’ teacher that was proud of her for doing it, calling the OP “awful” for making it especially because it mentions feminism, it made the post all about bashing on this girl because they think she means “if you hate feminism you must be awful,” and “oh there should be one for guys” and…Apparently people get butthurt if you decide that you don’t want shitty people in your life.

I got pissed off. Why? Because I’m really fucking sick of people bashing on teenage girls that want to be feminist and are trying to discover why feminism exists and what it does. That is the entire reason they bashed on this girl. And I’m the one who’s “overreacting” for feeling that a) it was a very sexist attack and b) it doesn’t have to be about boys vs girls.

I am really fucking sick and tired of people hating on feminist girls for not liking boys all of the time. Because all you are doing is encouraging the stereotype of the man-hating feminist. I am a feminist (a liberal one mind you) and I am pretty much straight. I like boys. I date boys. I have a boy I want to marry.

But let me tell you now, boys are not all that great all of the time. And I really dislike the fact that you want to shit all over some girls that says “I want to date boys but there are some shitty ass men on this planet (I may have even had some encounters with some) so let me classify some of this so that those boys can stay the fuck away from me.” You hate on it and turn it around and be like “Then men need one so they can stay away from you”…

Well you’ve completely missed the point then haven’t you?

Continue reading “Boys to Avoid, or Stop Shitting on Teenage Feminism”

A Message to “The Other McCain.”

If you want to know how I got involved, the girl that this idjit bullied is over at this blog.  She’s a sweet girl, and chronicles the unnecessary harassment over on her blog.

Poor sweet Sophia.  You have got yourself a bona-fide crazy idiot on your hands.  Any sane person reading that original post is going to think the same thing.

As it stands, I have detected nothing wrong in your responses to such character attacks.  The only thing I would ever advise you against is reading the comments on the other person’s posts.  Just don’t do it.  It only causes unnecessary stress.  Pretend the comments don’t exist and focus your efforts on the OP because that’s where the attack is coming from.  Think of it like a video game boss.  OP is the boss, the comments are the little minions trying to distract you.  Ignore the minions, take them out with a super move (broad, sweeping comment) and focus the rest of your efforts on dismantling the big mean boss.

 

Meanwhile, Mr. McCain….

Where do you think you get the right?

Miss Sophia’s blog is a personal one.  That is, it is her safe space to talk about what’s going on in her life and to help her explore herself and who she wants to be in this world.  Some of her posts don’t even require comments – that’s what the little star “like” button is for.  Sometimes the only comments needed are ones that boost her up when she’s feeling down or share in a defining moment.  Occasionally she writes articles that incite discussion.  Those are for the purpose of hearing the thoughts of others and redefining what she thinks she knows of a certain topic.

Her blog is not, however, here for you to pick and choose behaviors to judge.

Continue reading “A Message to “The Other McCain.””

A Response to a Feminist Discussion

[Original post can be found here.]

YES YES YES.

For one, I really truly get annoyed when people confuse biological sex and gender.  Because biological sex can’t be controlled, and gender can because gender is the one that’s a social construct.  Refusing medical treatment based on your biological sex because you don’t believe in gender shows a basic ignorance of what each of them actually are.

I love your definition of patriarchy and how it couples with andocentrism.  What a lot of feminists don’t seem to understand is that the andocentrism is the part that hurts men.  I especially liked “assumes that male norms operate throughout all social institutions and become the standard to which persons adhere.”  That right there shows just how the patriarchy hurts everyone, male and female alike, because it makes men feel like they need to live up to these standards that are set too high to begin with and these are the standards that are made to hurt women. Doesn’t matter if it makes these men uncomfortable, they need to do it to live up to societal standards.

I also love how you realize that society as a whole – not just males, not just white people, not just [insert group here] – has created the problems we have today.  Society is huge and complex and things didn’t just become the way they are by a huge group of people (ex: all the men) with a collective mindset enforcing them that way.

I love how you talk about where the real inequality is.  Yes, under the law, women enjoy a much more equal status now than ever before.  That doesn’t mean that inequality doesn’t exist.  No one went after erectile dysfunction medication and whether or not the Affordable Care Act (ACA) should provide for it.  But there were weeks and months of debate about whether birth control (a female only drug) should be provided for.  Yes, legally we have the freedom to access an abortion.  In reality, it’s nearly unaffordable without insurance and many insurance companies refuse to cover it.  Also, depending on your state and how strict the laws are, there may only be a handful of abortion providers for hundreds of thousands of people.  Does that sound like equality?

I also saw the inequality being pushed on us in that military thing.  So very many people didn’t realize that women did not enjoy the right to fight in a combat position in war.  It’s not that we never volunteered; it’s that we were not permitted to do so due to that prevailing point of view that women are too weak to do so.  I’m sure there are plenty of (not outright) discriminatory practices that are in place so that women aren’t allowed to work some of the dangerous jobs men do because of that prevailing mindset.

And I enjoy how you talk about the fact that it’s ourselves that are our worst enemies.  I actually do not see men doing half of the slut-shaming or judging of women that women do to themselves.  None of the men I have dated (and I can count about 7 actual boyfriends) have cared about whether I wore my hair up or down, wore makeup or not, wore perfume or not, shaved or didn’t (actually the only bitch I heard about that was that I needed to maintain it because the grow-in can be scratchy.)

Women, on the other hand, are the most critical of other women.  ”She dresses like a slut” “She’s so easy” “It gives men the idea we’re all like that”… when in fact, it doesn’t.  We’re just so paranoid.  [Which, by the way, is part and parcel of the inequality we’re fighting against and the patriarchy that does, in fact, exist.]

In particular, I think it’s these radfems who spout stuff like “all heterosexual sex is rape” that gives feminism a bad name and makes women (who I would consider feminists, even if they don’t use the term) afraid to be associated with the movement.  It gives misogynistic men the evidence to point to when they say “all feminists are crazy” and it gives women such a fright that they won’t say they’re feminists for fear that they’ll end up as forever alone cat ladies because men won’t wanna be near them.