[In response to this Tumblr post here.]
My feminism is sex-positive. Sex is not the be-all, end-all of a woman and what she can do. Who, when and how she has sex is nobody’s business but hers. If you are safe, sane and consensual with whatever your kink is, then that kink is your own business. Do what makes you feel good. What you do in the bedroom doesn’t affect anyone else’s life – just yours and your partners.
My feminism believes that porn is fine, so long as it is between two consenting adults who are practicing their sexuality safely and sanely. A woman has the right to do with her body what she wishes. If she wants to accept money, goods or other services for sex then she should be able to – but only if she wants to. Or hell, if you just get off on other people watching you fuck, that’s fine too.
[I firmly believe that making prostitution as safe and as legal as the porn industry could reduce a lot of problems and bring tax revenue to states – rather than costing taxpayers millions to arrest, prosecute and keep a man in jail just for wanting to pay someone to lay him.]
My feminism realizes that other factors are involved in oppression, and can result in people who are both simultaneously oppressed and privileged.
My feminism knows that gender is a social construct, but doesn’t mind if you’re a girl that likes pretty things or a boy that wants to play sports. Embracing aspects of both gender roles, a single gender role or no gender roles is what makes us all unique and not mannequins.
My feminism knows that the current socialization of gender can be harmful to others, but that those with body dysmorphia are not only uncomfortable with their gender, but with their biological sex too. And it’s okay to want to transition to the opposite sex.
My feminism knows that biological sex and gender are two different things, and one of them is constant while the other is a social construct.
My feminism also knows that acknowledging biological sex is not the same as “enforcing gender roles” and that each sex had different upkeeps and physical/medical things that go along with it. Happy and safe and healthy includes getting the proper medical care for your biological sex, regardless of what gender you identify with.
My feminism believes gender should be abolished, but realizes that it is an idealistic/utopian goal that doesn’t necessarily work in the real world, and it doesn’t shame women who want to be feminine or men that want to be masculine.
My feminism realizes that the patriarchy hurts men just as much as it can hurt women, and that men can be allies and not enemies. Not all men are the vocal, hateful minority. There are many good men out there who would like to see the same rights given to women that they have.
My feminism recognizes that the patriarchy hurts men by forcing them into masculine gender roles they’re not comfortable with either and that it silences male victims of traditionally female-victim crimes.
My feminism recognizes that, just as straight people can be allies for the LGBTQ community, men can be allies for the feminist cause.
My feminism doesn’t prioritize any woman over another, because to do so would cause oppression for the women you don’t prioritize. All women are equal. In fact, all humans are equal. Non-white women are not more special than other women, and lesbians are not more special than heterosexuals. We’re all in this together.
My feminism recognizes that, while trans people who were raised male might have some male privilege, that by being trans they are subject to a lot of hate and violence and that makes them allies to the cause. Trans people have just as many struggles as the rest of us, and to ignore or marginalize them is what provokes anger from them – and rightfully so.
My feminism doesn’t marginalize you because of your biological sex or your gender identity. If you’re trans and you go through the long and arduous process of reassigning you’re gender, you’re entitled to be treated as the new biological sex you are.
My feminism supports gender equality, because the moment you decide that one sex/gender is superior, you have bought into the patriarchal lie that someone has to be better than another.
My feminism understands that relationships between men and women in society are complicated and multi-faceted. Women have experienced chronic oppression in history, but that not all history treats women badly. There have been many kick-ass and famous strong women in history. It is something to be proud of.
My feminism supports all other forms of feminism, so long as the individuals that are a part of it don’t promote hate and violence. There are always going to be fringe people who spout hate and violence and crazy-talk, but they are not to be taken seriously and they are not the basis by which to judge all other feminists.
My feminism understands that completely breakdown and anarchy is not the way to fix the problems of the patriarchy. That process is long and complicated and that sometimes that change that we seek will happen slowly – by teaching your children to be better than the society they’re born in.