On proof and progress in feminism

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The Accidental Mathematician

The recent allegations against several celebrities have led to a broader conversation on how we, as a society, don’t believe women. In a “he said, she said” situation, we trust the man and assume that the woman is either mistaken or lying. “Taking us seriously” means that we are advised of such and offered an explanation for our dismissal instead of simply being dismissed outright. It’s not only personal bias, conscious or not; there are institutional mechanisms perpetuating this state of affairs. No proof is ever sufficient if it comes from a woman. Should she present multiple affidavits, all signed and notarized in triplicate, she’ll be informed that they do not prove her claim; she, on the other hand, probably violated multiple rules and procedures by collecting and presenting her evidence in the first place. She should stop before she gets into more trouble.

Meanwhile, there’s a growing crop of…

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Conservatism and Misogyny: Same?

WARNING: I used a lot of bad language in this.  Forgive me.

So, I shared this picture on Facebook:

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And the first comment I receive is from a friend going “Fucking really? Spare me.”

Now, I don’t take crap like that lying down, so my first response (done via mobile at work) was:

I love you, but you’re not female.

I have been told before that my stranger rape was my fault because I didn’t do enough to prevent it.

I have been told that I’m a slut for using birth control, by random people in line at the pharmacy who don’t know me or my situation.  Pharmacists right now in this country deny women birth control based on false stereotypes, “religion” and “values.”  Women get vilified for going into women’s clinics by people who have no knowledge of the situation or reason, nor do they know what women’s clinics are even for, besides abortion.

And our lawmakers are mostly old white MEN.  Do I even need to remind you about the ACA panel on birth control that contained NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN on it?

There is a huge problem with this in our country.  But you’re a man, so unless you decide to really educate yourself, you’ll never experience or even see it happen.

The response from him went as such:

I have educated myself.  Please don’t confuse misogyny with conservatism.  There are quite a lot of variants within that mindset.  Gender biases are a polarizing thing in this country, being too aggressive one way or the other won’t help the situation.  Unfortunately, these old fuckers on capitol hill won’t change, but they’ll be dead soon.  That’s the only thing to look forward too.

Continue reading “Conservatism and Misogyny: Same?”

Boys to Avoid, or Stop Shitting on Teenage Feminism

So, I came across this picture on Tumblr.

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And beneath it was a whole boat-ton of really shitty comments bashing on the chick who made this for, well, pretty much making it. Except for #2 and #4, obviously. She’s smart on those two. I’m rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.

It was a lot of bashing the gender studies’ teacher that was proud of her for doing it, calling the OP “awful” for making it especially because it mentions feminism, it made the post all about bashing on this girl because they think she means “if you hate feminism you must be awful,” and “oh there should be one for guys” and…Apparently people get butthurt if you decide that you don’t want shitty people in your life.

I got pissed off. Why? Because I’m really fucking sick of people bashing on teenage girls that want to be feminist and are trying to discover why feminism exists and what it does. That is the entire reason they bashed on this girl. And I’m the one who’s “overreacting” for feeling that a) it was a very sexist attack and b) it doesn’t have to be about boys vs girls.

I am really fucking sick and tired of people hating on feminist girls for not liking boys all of the time. Because all you are doing is encouraging the stereotype of the man-hating feminist. I am a feminist (a liberal one mind you) and I am pretty much straight. I like boys. I date boys. I have a boy I want to marry.

But let me tell you now, boys are not all that great all of the time. And I really dislike the fact that you want to shit all over some girls that says “I want to date boys but there are some shitty ass men on this planet (I may have even had some encounters with some) so let me classify some of this so that those boys can stay the fuck away from me.” You hate on it and turn it around and be like “Then men need one so they can stay away from you”…

Well you’ve completely missed the point then haven’t you?

Continue reading “Boys to Avoid, or Stop Shitting on Teenage Feminism”

And on the Subject of EA…

If you’re going to be so dense as to think that someone can’t put their life experiences, especially concerning things like mental illness, into creative form then here are some more people/things you should probably never let your patients learn about:

  • Virginia Woolf
  • Ernest Hemingway
  • Winston Churchill
  • Vincent van Gogh
  • Edgar Allen Poe
  • James Joyce
  • Albert Einstein
  • I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (autobiographical novel of schizophrenia)
  • Go Ask Alice (novel about teenage addiction)
  • Lisa, Bright and Dark (novel about pre-diagnosed bipolar disorder)
  • The Best Little Girl in the World (novel about anorexia)
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Eugene O’Neil
  • Ludwig von Beethoven
  • Robert Schumann
  • Leo Tolstoy
  • Vaslov Nijinsky (dancer with schizophrenia who wrote an autobiography about it)
  • John Keats
  • Tennessee Williams
  • Isaac Newton
  • Sylvia Plath
  • Vivien Leigh
  • Jimmy Piersall (Red Sox player who is bipolar and wrote an autobiography)
  • Patty Duke
  • Charles Dickens
  • Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • Kurt Cobain
  • Buzz Aldrin
  • Roseanne Barr
  • Marlon Brando
  • Drew Carey
  • Jim Carrey
  • Dick Clark
  • Judy Collins
  • Calvin Coolidge
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Princess Diana
  • Carrie Fisher
  • Linda Hamilton
  • The Jacksons (let’s face it, all of them are fucked up)
  • Billy Joel
  • Catherine Zeta Jones
  • Ashley Judd
  • Heath Ledger
  • Greg Louganis
  • Michelangelo
  • Rosie O’Donnell
  • Marie Osmond
  • K. Rowling
  • Winona Ryder
  • Brooke Shields
  • Darryl Strawberry
  • John Claude van Damme
  • Mike Wallace
  • Tammy Wynette

And most of these people didn’t do what you’re “supposed” to do in dealing with illness.  It doesn’t make their work not great and not something people should find and be interested in – whether they have a mental illness themselves or not.

I could go on.  Not all of these people have bipolar disorder, but I could totally make you a huge list of the artist that do have just bipolar disorder.

Also, anyone who starts to tell me that her bipolar “isn’t real” but admits to her actually having had a hospital stay for treatment – you’re a hypocrite and you need to go away.

And as for the accusations of Emilie lying, about anything…well she’s never been shy about telling people she’s a liar.  Besides the fact that she’s got an entire song called Liar about it there is enough in her song Swallow to make me believe that lying is part of the game.  And since I respect her as an artist for doing what she wants to do and not what other people want to do, I’m going to remind you all – fans and foes alike – of this line:

I don’t want to be a legend/oh well that’s a goddamn lie I do/To say I do this for the people/I admit is hardly true.

Someone pointed out that she wrote something in the song If You Feel Better that makes a lot of sense too.

Won’t make me sorry cause I’m cruel/Won’t hurt the feelings I don’t have/Won’t break the heart that isn’t there you’ll find/But if you feel better/Telling me I’m cruel/Saying I’m unfeeling/I don’t mind.

You guys knew what you were getting into if you bothered to listen to her music.  I mean damn.

In Defense of Emilie Autumn

This rant is on this blog and not on my ranty blog because it’s a popular media rant.

A little background as to why I’m writing this.

I’m trying to change my Tumblr theme.  Again.  And I found this cute little Sailor Moon “Fight Like a Girl” artwork.  And I was like “Hey, I can use this with some cute lolita theme and make it all Emilie Autumn and badass cutesy-ness.”  So I Googled EA so that I could amass pics of her (because I lost my former collection when I lost my old computer.)  And I see in the bar above the images some related things and one says “Violin Bow Incident” so being the curious cat I am, I clicked on it.  Sigh.  Bullshit…bullshit…bullshit…did I expect to find anything here really?  But then I see this confessions sort of thing and it says this:

I hope my patients never find out about EA.  She does exactly what you SHOULD NOT DO when it comes to mental illness; lets it define her, rule her life, and uses it as an excuse to be cruel, insensitive and avoid her obligations.

What what?

Okay, I’m an EA fan yes.  But I’m not crazy stalker fan type.  As y’all have seen here on Tumblr, I like a butt-ton of things.  I obsess over a lot.  Right now, I’d tell you that I’m far and away more interested and obsessed over wrestling than EA.  And I actually keep up with Veronica Varlow more than EA herself.

But what?

Let me just…

Continue reading “In Defense of Emilie Autumn”

A Message to “The Other McCain.”

If you want to know how I got involved, the girl that this idjit bullied is over at this blog.  She’s a sweet girl, and chronicles the unnecessary harassment over on her blog.

Poor sweet Sophia.  You have got yourself a bona-fide crazy idiot on your hands.  Any sane person reading that original post is going to think the same thing.

As it stands, I have detected nothing wrong in your responses to such character attacks.  The only thing I would ever advise you against is reading the comments on the other person’s posts.  Just don’t do it.  It only causes unnecessary stress.  Pretend the comments don’t exist and focus your efforts on the OP because that’s where the attack is coming from.  Think of it like a video game boss.  OP is the boss, the comments are the little minions trying to distract you.  Ignore the minions, take them out with a super move (broad, sweeping comment) and focus the rest of your efforts on dismantling the big mean boss.

 

Meanwhile, Mr. McCain….

Where do you think you get the right?

Miss Sophia’s blog is a personal one.  That is, it is her safe space to talk about what’s going on in her life and to help her explore herself and who she wants to be in this world.  Some of her posts don’t even require comments – that’s what the little star “like” button is for.  Sometimes the only comments needed are ones that boost her up when she’s feeling down or share in a defining moment.  Occasionally she writes articles that incite discussion.  Those are for the purpose of hearing the thoughts of others and redefining what she thinks she knows of a certain topic.

Her blog is not, however, here for you to pick and choose behaviors to judge.

Continue reading “A Message to “The Other McCain.””